Bring on IVF #2!!!

FINALLY, I took my last birth control pill last night. (Shhh....I only took 1/2 of it. Well more like 3/4. I want my period to start!!) Hopefully now I don't have to wait long for my period to start. I go in on Friday morning for a baseline and bloodwork. Hopefully starting stims that night. I also have an acupuncture appointment on Saturday morning. My meds were delivered yesterday and holy moly there is A LOT. Much more then last time. My meds are currently occupying the entire bottom shelf of our refridgerator. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let the 2nd time be the charm!

Proven Otherwise

Well I was pregnant until proven otherwise and yesterday I was proven otherwise. My line seemed lighter yesterday and I just knew it in my heart. I am at peace with this cycle. I want it to be over so I can start fresh. My level yesterday was 11 and as I am obviously devastated, I am so relieved that I don't have to face another ectopic pregnancy. So it seems as though this road to baby has a few more twists and turns up ahead for us.

Limbo Land- confirmed.

Well it is confirmed that I will be staying in limbo land for a bit longer. Yesterday was my beta and it came back at 21.5. Pregnant, but not very pregnant. I am praying for my baby. I cannot believe we made it this far and now this. I fear that Baby is not okay. I fear that Baby is in my tube. I fear that Baby will not make it to us. My estrogen level was only 21. It was 700 at my CD21 bloodwork. They have me on estrace 2x/day now. I hope this helps Baby grow strong. I don't know what to think right now. I asked what the low estrogen could mean. They told me I may have poor egg quality. I don't know what that means for this Baby or for any future babies but I don't like the sound of it.

Dear Baby,

Dear Baby,
I want you to know that Mommy, Daddy, & Big Sister are all praying that you are healthy and strong. We want to meet you more then anything in this world. We want to see your beautiful face and give you kisses. Please stay with us Baby. We love you.
Love,
Mommy

Limbo land

Tomorrow is my beta. . .
I am nervous! I tested out my trigger which slowly got lighter and then yesterday it appeared to be darker. I tested again this morning and it's still the same light line. I spotted 1x yesterday and 1x already today. I am so nervous my beta is going to be too low. I am nervous about another ectopic or a chemical pregnancy. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.

The bottom test in this picture was taken on 5/22. The day of my ET before I went in. That was my guideline for my trigger. I tested the next 2 days 5/23 & 5/24 to see how long it was taking for the trigger to leave my system. The 27th I was really bummed because I was 5 days past transfer and that is when BFP's usually show up with 5 day transfers. I didn't test on the 28th because I was so scared. Then on the 29th it seems as though the line was a bit darker. I don't know what to think.  

This is yesterdays (7dp5dt) vs todays (8dp5dt)