Scared But Excited

Last night we had our injection training class.  I guess it is pretty much what I expected.  There were about 6 or 7 couples.  The lady went over the entire IVF process which I knew mostly about already from being impatient and curious and finding the information out on the internet.  I felt kind of special because I think I was the closest to starting in the class.  And I couldn't help but grin at the fact that when she was going over the medicine's she pointed out how lucky the ones that have Follistim are.  It is so much easier to use then the mixing that the other medicines require.  She said you have to have really good insurance to be able to get the Follistim.  And that we do!  Again, I can't always help but think how amazing it is.  Things like this don't normally happen to me.  I always have a bill.  And a big one.  But not this time.  It's kind of silly but I saw it as a sign to go ahead with the IVF.  It's almost like an open door for us.  I never planned it to be this way.  Never in a million years did I ever think I was going to have to do IVF.  I am a firm believer that you cannot force something that isn't meant to be.  I don't think this is really forcing. I am probably just being naive though.  I wish I was like everyone else I know and just able to love their husband and be able to have a baby the way you're supposed to.  I think about that all the time.  That my baby is going to be "put together" by some doctor and not fate or God.  But I have to stop myself from thinking that because fate and God are still playing a big role in what we are doing.  No matter how our baby in conceived they will be from God.  And very loved.