My E2 is 955. I feel like it may be climbing too high, too quickly. I go back on Thursday for monitoring. I have a feeling she may be worrying becuase there is really no reason for me to go in on Thursday when my ER shouldn't be til Monday or Tuesday. It's just another unnecessary middle cycle day check up to me. If my follies were only 9-10mm then they'll only be maybe 14mm by Thursday and that is still way too small to trigger. God, I reallllllly hope my body is doing the right thing this time.
I used to be excited to take my injections with the previous cycles. It was the time I actually had control over my cycle and making my follicles grow. Now I dread taking them. They are so painful. The Menopur stings so badly and takes forever to mix up. Ugh, let this be over please and give me my healthy baby! More and more lately I've been seeing pages and blogs for children with cancer/disabilities. It's truly heartbreaking. I come across them and I choke back tears at my desk. One little 3 year old girl was just given 1-3 months to live. I can't. I just can't. It's so scary to imagine going through all of this to get our baby only to be told something so devastating. I don't know what's worse. Not getting the baby we are longing for or getting them only to have them taken away. When I read these children's stories, I wonder if I should rethink the whole process. I don't know if I am strong enough. Life can be so cruel sometimes. It's not fair that things such as cancer can rob an innocent child of their beautiful life. Not fair.
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